暈低

昨天晚上, 我在洗手間洗手的時候, 突然感到呼吸困難, 我把雙手靠在洗手盤上, 一邊大口大口地吸氣, 一邊看著洗手盤慢慢地在我眼前轉圈, 霎時間, 我眼前一黑, 醒來時發現自己已半坐半躺在地上, 幸已我身後有個盤子, 把我反彈, 而在我意識微薄時, 我雙手仍懂得拉著洗手盤邊, 我慌了, 就立即站起, 洗手後急著回到床上躺下, 但仍然是呼吸困難, 還感到胸口納悶, 想吐的感覺, 接著我慌得只懂立即祈禱, 求父憐憫和幫助, 過了一會兒, 我感覺就好多了! 感謝主!

p.s. 後來感到額頭疼痛, 應該是暈下失去意識時碰撞到所致的, 不知道還有沒有碰撞到其他部位, 明天還是要去看醫生了=_=

Twilight

after spending the whole day with Ian, i went to church with my exhausted body. This is the first time i made an announcement in the fellowship, feel like being a senior finally. The greatest thing about tonite is , of coz learnt more about God, and then, i saw ANNE!!! omg all the memory came up and all the stuff happened back in highschool just like yesterday! Anne, i remember how well you treat me, i remember how we knew each other, it has been four years! Anne is the person who led me to know more about God! and i wanna thank God for letting Anne to be one of my angels in my life, and also thank God for saving Anne's life for twice!

I'm getting over the pain with my bf, somebody is taking over his place,

damn! i forgot to save a draft and blogspot deleted my whole entry...

Finally i have a peaceful environment a few days with my bf, cuz i decided to cut off a frd of mine. i will no longer as depressed as before cuz my bf does not yell at me anymore for 'that person', i'll move on again :) 2am in the morning and im still doing assignments... and im still reading the textbook to figure out how to do the assignment, thats the result of not paying attention to class, my fault =.= yey im going to have my agnes b thing back, i'll prolly give it to bosco, a real good frd who always by my side listen to me and comfort me when i need help. Ok.. im gonna type up a summary instead of a whole big page of entry again=.= , all i gonna say is : i wanna throw that hat or put it into the bottom of my drawer so that i never see it again, cuz it reminds me of being hurt by him!i never really hate a person, and i always protect myself by not giving out real heart easily for frdship, but i failed. after all jason told me that i shouldnt have thought of him cuz once he disappeared and doesnt care about my feelings, he is not worth. well i guess the only thing i need is to get my stuff back and that's it. i gave him a chance but that rude, conceited attitude told me he is REAL not worth.the reason im typing a whole bunch of words abouit this incident till today becoz i got really hurt!(and of coz that hat reminds me of him everyday, should i throw it?) i'll never forget this person i guess, who wasted my time and money.

studying???

i lock myself at his home after lunch -> to study. (???)
I ended up watching tv/ doing nail polish and baking (for someone who SUDDENLY want to eat FRESH cookies...>.<) the whole day lol Billy came to my building last nite to give me the Polysporin, cuz i cut my leg with a small knife by accident, so i need the cream back >.<. I went downstair to meet him and we stood at the door non-stop talking, talking and talking..=.=" for 20 mins..=.=" o well, talking to Billy makes me happy :)

btw, a person told me this morning that "breaking promise is CORRECT becuz things would change" .... harharharrrrr? what kind of explanation is that? funny ehh LOL

p.s. i finally made michelle to hire Kenny ... *relieve* :)

conversations

i had a deep and serious converstaion with kent today, he said "u do not lose, DO NOT LOSE, so just be strong, forget about the skinny fuck and move on"... But i believe every person is good deep in their hearts... nobody would like to hurt somebody else in purpose,
but i agree with what Kent said, "simon could not stand to be a man, he could not risk to lose, thats why he said he wouldn't easily give up before, and now he left u, so that he seems to be the person who won, and he said he wanna send u the present beoz he wanna save a last good image for himself, he is so self-centreed, and he is way too immature to just disappear for a few days, u should have realized"...
i put my real heart for a frdship and now i got hurt.. should i listen to kent's advice? i guess i'll call once more.. last call to see if he's worth.

MItch is such a great friend, he put all his work and papers down to talk to me... okay i know im being stupid enough to be depressed becoz of a person who is not worth, but i cant control myself...>.<>

:)

now that i realized im surrounded by love when im depressed... (only when im depressed =.=")
i thought all my frds graduated but seems like the lower year frds are also good to me..
Altho i dunno what to say when i face some of them since they're younger than me, i feel the carings. And Haydon is really mature enough to comfort me , and yea I KNOW im a too "innocent" person to trust someone la... chi sin.. i didnt say im not wor.. i admit +_+ .. Haydon who has to work at 8am in the next morning and talked to me till 3am.. im impressed.

really wanna thank my frds from deep in my heart....Bosco, Stephen, Billy, Candy, Jason, Fion, Patrick, Paco, Joey, Mindy, Haydon... thanks la Patrick called up somebody for me, and my plan is confirmed i'll see Pat so soon in Melbourne :D i miss him lei...

Kent is now being my senior advisor tho lol

Especially frds who put down all their studying for midterms and ask me to go out... i didnt realize and expect some of you actually treat me as that important till now...

and i'll take the advice from Kent, never never easily put my heart out for a new frdship again.
face showing that... I GAIN WEIGHT...=.="